drivers

Simplify the laws... same speed limit in every state. Same driving laws. A national drivers license that is good for every state and also doubles as a passport.

Part 2

As president I will ban daylight savings time. There are way more negatives than positives. During the days after daylight savings time, suicide rates increase and more people die do to medical illnesses. The strain on peoples bodies do to the change in sleep patterns is dangerous. There will be no daylight savings time in the United States of Awesomeness.

Lee Cummings for President 2012

The first thing I will do when I become President is change the name of this great nation to something less redundant. There is already North America, Central America and South America, so why are we the United States of America. I think that USA has a nice ring to it so I was thinking that the United States of Awesomeness would have a great ring. I would then be the Commander and Chief of Awesomeness. I feel the the world would appreciate this change.

egg rolls

Today I realized that taking pills is very boring and that if they put fortunes in the bottle I might be more likely to remember to take mine.

The Chainsaw

There was a day not so long ago, that myself and shagnasty were at work. We decided that it would be a good idea to go to the bar. So we went down to the barmuda triangle, which is a street filled with bars in Mankato. When we got to the first bar we decided to try to drink one beer and one shot at every bar. I don't recall much after that other than looking up and seeing shagnasty shaking his head no and hearing yelling all around me. I looked around and noticed that we were at a bar on campus on the other side of town. Then I looked in my hands and realized that I was holding a running chainsaw. The yelling was people running from me. I shut the chainsaw off and put it in the back of my shaggin waggin and locked the car. I walked to the nearest hotel and got a room and passed out. Moral of this story. Don't keep a chainsaw in your car if you are hanging out with shagnasty.

The End.

Beavers

There was a time when I was just a young man that I was getting in a car and out of no where a giant rabid beaver came running out of the woods. Now as a man of experience I know how to handle a 6 foot rabid beaver. So we jumped into the car. The beaver kept gnawing at the rubber on the tires. So we had to run over it's head a bunch of times to get it to stop chasing us.

Homeless vs Immigration

I believe that we should load up all the homeless and ship them to Mexico. While we are there we can load up with immigrant workers. Its a win, win. We get rid of millions of people who suck off the system and won't work, because they make more begging than working and we get hard workers who work for very little.

my life part 2

Ok another oddity of life. When I was in kindergarten, I had a teacher who thought that it was completely wrong for me to be left handed because it made me different from the other students. So she tied my hand behind my back so I would learn how to use my right hand. This made me dyslexic and I had all kinds of problems from it, but on the other hand this is why I do everything with my right hand except for writing which I do with my left, and as for being different then the other kids, I like it....

my life part 1

I’ve decided to start writing about my life, I doubt most will care but I have a few interesting stories to tell. Most are true and some are based off of fact.
I was born May 15, 1976. I was very young for my age. I had a small hole in my heart but it closed up. I don’t remember much from when I was that young but I was a very sick baby. For all those that know me, this shall not be much of a surprise. I spent most of my babyhood in the hospital with ear infections and such, but the most coolest thing ever also happened. I developed flu like symptoms and a rash on my butt. I kept throwing up constantly. The doctors kept saying it was diaper rash and not to worry about it, but it kept getting worse. I developed a high fever to top it off. My mother got worried and rushed me to the emergency room because I kept getting worse. They ran some tests on me and said If she would have been even a few more hours I might have died. It was no diaper rash, it was a yeast infection. It took entered through my mouth from someone who didn’t wash there hands well after pleasuring themselves and putting there fingers in my mouth. Sick bastards. It took over my digestive system and almost killed me. That is right fact one about me, I almost died of a yeast infection.
Stay tuned for more unusual stories from the Leeman.... Later

Fish Pants

Why is that net in the bottom of some swimmers trunks for guys and not in the bottom of others? What purpose does it really serve? It is not like it is protecting my nuts from an impact or anything and its not keeping them secure. Hell it’s not even very comfortable. They way I figure it is there is a fishing net. The fish think my unmentionables is bate, so they swim into my shorts. Then they get tangled up in the net. So when I’m done swimming I have fresh fish to cook and eat.