Part 2

As president I will ban daylight savings time. There are way more negatives than positives. During the days after daylight savings time, suicide rates increase and more people die do to medical illnesses. The strain on peoples bodies do to the change in sleep patterns is dangerous. There will be no daylight savings time in the United States of Awesomeness.

Lee Cummings for President 2012

The first thing I will do when I become President is change the name of this great nation to something less redundant. There is already North America, Central America and South America, so why are we the United States of America. I think that USA has a nice ring to it so I was thinking that the United States of Awesomeness would have a great ring. I would then be the Commander and Chief of Awesomeness. I feel the the world would appreciate this change.

egg rolls

Today I realized that taking pills is very boring and that if they put fortunes in the bottle I might be more likely to remember to take mine.

The Chainsaw

There was a day not so long ago, that myself and shagnasty were at work. We decided that it would be a good idea to go to the bar. So we went down to the barmuda triangle, which is a street filled with bars in Mankato. When we got to the first bar we decided to try to drink one beer and one shot at every bar. I don't recall much after that other than looking up and seeing shagnasty shaking his head no and hearing yelling all around me. I looked around and noticed that we were at a bar on campus on the other side of town. Then I looked in my hands and realized that I was holding a running chainsaw. The yelling was people running from me. I shut the chainsaw off and put it in the back of my shaggin waggin and locked the car. I walked to the nearest hotel and got a room and passed out. Moral of this story. Don't keep a chainsaw in your car if you are hanging out with shagnasty.

The End.

Beavers

There was a time when I was just a young man that I was getting in a car and out of no where a giant rabid beaver came running out of the woods. Now as a man of experience I know how to handle a 6 foot rabid beaver. So we jumped into the car. The beaver kept gnawing at the rubber on the tires. So we had to run over it's head a bunch of times to get it to stop chasing us.

Homeless vs Immigration

I believe that we should load up all the homeless and ship them to Mexico. While we are there we can load up with immigrant workers. Its a win, win. We get rid of millions of people who suck off the system and won't work, because they make more begging than working and we get hard workers who work for very little.